All Ahead Standard – A New Normal

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April 18, 2014 by comhomflt

Six weeks, I decided. Six weeks to establish a new normal. That’s about what it takes to get settled in and find your groove, however fleeting it may be, after having a new baby, so I figured a similar period of adjustment could be expected with a deployment. Well, we’re past six weeks now, and I have two conclusions:

1) The nuts and bolts of a deployment are doable.

2) The missing HIM for all these months is still beyond my ability to comprehend.

Thanks to our penchant for routine, the daily grace of God, and the generosity of so many people who have done laundry, made beds, watched kids, brought meals, given baths, kept us company, helped with computer issues, and run errands, we are making it. We are even making good memories, although it is sad to make them without our LT around. We are still keeping up with Cub Scouts, getting to church (mostly) on time, and taking folded clothing from our drawers to wear each day. We are all being stretched. Little ones are sweeping up their own messes, every kid is assigned a bag to carry when we venture out, and our oldest is proving to be a decent cook and handyman. (He recently opened the piano, figured out what was wrong with the pedal, and proceeded to fix it with a little help!) I am learning to accept offers of help that I would not have in the past because I know I’d be in over my head otherwise. This is our new life, and after six weeks, I can see that it will be possible to keep things running while our LT is away. What I can’t see is living for so long apart from him.

I already dream of the day he’ll walk through the kitchen door, with his cheerful, “Honey, I’m home!” and wrap me in his arms. Of the evening his seat at the dinner table won’t be empty. Of the night when he’ll be here to give bedtime kisses to sleepyheads and to sit beside me on the sofa afterwards. People say they don’t know how I can do it, the “it” being such a long separation from my LT. Well, frankly, I don’t know, either. I don’t love him any less than other wives love their husbands, but this is the way it is right now. One day at a time, I tell myself; and mostly, each day is busy from early start to late finish. And there are always books. And music. And – you know it – chocolate!

But, to prove that we are surviving – and thriving – even in the midst of chaos, exhaustion, and sometimes tears, here are a few pictures.

BM1 filling in for his dad as the expert egg scramblerAll Ahead Standard

Our girly girl MC2 showing off her lovely Hello Kitty stick on nailsAll Ahead Standard

My fun April Fool’s prank – taping their clothes to the ceiling :)All Ahead Standard

Our one-month day celebration and our Seaman’s first taste of Del’s lemonadeAll Ahead Standard

The girls “happily playing together,” as they sayAll Ahead Standard

A rite of passage: BM1’s first piano recitalAll Ahead Standard

My three helpful cooks on beanie weenie nightAll Ahead Standard

And, finally, BM1 getting ready to celebrate the Phils’ home opener.
We have high hopes!All Ahead Standard


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