August 25, 2013 by comhomflt
It has come three times, and for each, the moment I received the news is frozen in time. The first time was easily the worst. The February sunlight cast a square of light on the hardwood floor as I stood near the stereo cabinet. It seems like yesterday…thinking this was just our normal afternoon phonecall, getting the news, insisting this was a joke he was telling me, crying, trying to understand how an “undeployable” ensign had orders, calling my dad, and beginning to imagine more than a year without a husband and daddy around. A couple of days were lost in the fog of shock, denial, and grief. Thankfully, – no, miraculously – that deployment was cancelled two days before it was to begin – another moment frozen in time, but that one was worth celebrating! The second time was also rough, although it was not quite as unexpected as before. The emotional response passed quickly, and we got right down to the business of how we were going to handle life. I did cry, though. That one got cancelled, too; this time, four months in advance. Whew! Both of those scenarios involved a baby joining our family during the deployment; I’m so glad I never had to actually face that!
So, here we are, four kids in the fam, planning to home school two in the fall, hubby half-way around the world on an AT, and I get the news over skype this time! A nice, personal touch, don’t you think? Well, at least we were expecting this phone call, and at least we WEREN’T expecting a baby!!! I never even shed a tear. Well, until our “Plan A” for schooling fell through…that was a bit rough. The tears finally came three months later at a deployment readiness training day when we were given bags for the kids and a blanket for our little Seaman with a tag saying it was handmade for children of military members serving their country. AAAHHHH! I hate thinking of the kids not having their daddy around! So, I cried. Just a bit, though. And then we got right back to the logistics side of things. How on earth are we going to make this work?! That last fifteen day AT with four kiddos just about did me in! Thankfully, we have a schooling situation worked out, and we have family nearby, and we have a church family that we love! And I discovered MilitaryOneSource. :D (I really hope that part lives up to its hype!)
I also know that “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust’.” – Psalm 91:1-2 I know that God’s mercies are new every morning; great is His faithfulness to me! I have experienced these mercies, and I know I can rest safely in the shadow of the Almighty in the same way my little one rests safely with me – no worries, no cares about the future, no awareness of all those big-people concerns because he is loved and because those who love him take care of his needs. So, whatever may come, I know my Heavenly Father loves me and will take care of my needs.
We’re not sure what this deployment will be, or even IF it will be, given the current plan for draw down. But, we do have orders. Orders to somewhere in the Middle East that start sometime this fall and last for the better part of the year. We would appreciate your prayers for us, and especially for our four kiddos, as we navigate the coming year.